Spartan-135, Nathan

Type of soldier: Spartan

Name: Nathan Hahn

Service Tag: 135
Age: 27

Gender:Male

Height: 7

Armor color: White and Red

Personality: Silent, but gets the job done. Ponders his missions throughly before attempting to complete it. Focuses only on the mission at hand and nothing else.

Weapons: MA5K Carbine and M6D Handgun.

Background: Nathan was alway a quiet child.
He never did like the other kids around and preferd his own company. Nathan went trough the spartan training and was kept in UNSC camp for 14 years after being abdoucted in the age of 7. Was almost immidietly assigned to UNSC Reagan to patrol the outskirt of Paris IV. The Reagan came under a direct assault of Covenant Special Ops team trying to capture its AI functional and quickly neutralized the ships crew. Nathan managed to send out a distress call, alerting a nearby battlegroup that soon came to investigate. The battlegroup consisting of UNSC Valhalla, Maginot and supercarrier Archangel engaged the Covenant located at the site. The battlegroup managed to destroy the Covenant presented, but Valhalla was destroyed and Maginot severly damaged, while Archangel remained mostly operational. Before leaving the crippled Reagan, Nathan activated the ships self-destruction program and purged the AI. Nathan was later ordered aboard the Archangel where he now resides.


Sample Post:
Three grunts. Two jacklas. One spartan with his trusty MA5K Carbine assault rilfe. Whichone would win? Nathan didn´t know that yet, but he sure would know that soon. He switched the safety off and aimed. Two of the grunts fell immidietly and the third one staggered backwards but fell soonly afterwards. Jackals quickly turned around and began firing randomly towards Nathans whereabouts. Nathan managed a faint smile as he tooked two steps backwards and threw a M9 HE-DP grenade in the middle of the jackals. There was a loud whoop as the grenade detonated and killed the both jackals. Nathan raised his rifle and sidestepped behind the rock. He scanned the area of any threats and spoke to his com: "Area clear, ready for pickup over."
"Are you so sure, Human?" A voice said behind him. Nathan quickly turned around and saw an Elite, Special Ops one. Spartan quickly rolled as hail of plasma fire passed by his helmet. He started firing at the Elite, but it was faster and knocked the weapon out of the humans hands. Nathan kicked the Elite off its feet and jumped onto him. The Elite struggled to get out, but Nathan ended its life with his pistol. Spartan raised from the ground and rolled the Elites body down off the cliff.

To say the least, there are a multitude of errors with your character creation. First of all, go back to the UNSC creation template and make sure you have every part covered. While that is your main issue, also use a spell check, because there are more than a few errors in that neighborhood as well. Other than that, the quality of the things you did post is quite good and unique. Just go in and change the problems you have and I'll be glad to approve.